How to Save Youth Sports from Ruining Kids’ Health and Happiness

How to Save Youth Sports from Ruining Kids' Health and Happiness

Imagine this: you are a parent of a 10-year-old boy who loves to play soccer. He has been playing since he was four, and he has a natural talent for the game.

He enjoys running, kicking, and scoring goals with his friends. He dreams of becoming a professional soccer player someday. You want to support his passion and help him achieve his goals. You sign him up for a competitive travel team, where he practices four times a week and plays games on weekends.

You buy him the best equipment, shoes, and uniforms. You hire a private coach to improve his skills. You drive him to tournaments across the state, sometimes even across the country. You cheer him on from the sidelines, and you celebrate his victories and console him after his losses.

You think you are doing everything right. You think you are giving him the best opportunities to succeed. You think you are making him happy.

But you are wrong.

You are actually hurting him more than helping him. You are putting too much pressure on him to perform, to win, to be the best. You are taking away his fun, his freedom, his joy. You are risking his health, his development, his future.

You are not alone. Millions of parents and kids are caught up in the youth sports craze, a phenomenon that has transformed a healthy and enjoyable activity into a stressful and harmful one. Youth sports have become too competitive, too costly, and too demanding for kids and parents, and they are ruining kids’ health and happiness.

In this article, I will explain how youth sports are ruining kids’ health and happiness, and what we can do to save them from this fate. I will share my own personal experience as a parent who made the mistake of pushing my son too hard in sports, and how I learned to change my attitude and behavior.

I will also explore the causes and consequences of the youth sports problem, and offer some practical and effective solutions for creating a better sports culture for our kids.

1. The Dark Side of Youth Sports.

Youth sports have changed dramatically over the past few decades. What used to be a fun and recreational activity for kids has become a highly competitive, specialized, and commercialized industry. According to TIME magazine, the U.S. youth-sports economy–which includes everything from travel to private coaching to apps that organize leagues and livestream games–is now a $15.3 billion market. The average family spends about $600 a year on each child athlete, while the richest families spend over $1,000 a month. Some parents even relocate to different states or countries to enroll their kids in elite sports programs.

This trend has put enormous pressure on young athletes to perform, to win, and to be the best. Many kids start playing one sport exclusively at an early age, often under the guidance of professional coaches and trainers. They practice for hours every day, sometimes sacrificing their sleep, schoolwork, and social life. They travel to distant tournaments, facing intense competition and high expectations. They are constantly evaluated, ranked, and compared to their peers.

The negative consequences of this trend are alarming. Many kids suffer from physical injuries, such as UCL tears, ACL tears, stress fractures, lower bone density, or concussions, due to overtraining and lack of rest. These injuries can affect their growth, development, and long-term health. Moreover, many kids experience psychological problems, such as anxiety, depression, burnout, or low self-esteem, due to the stress and pressure of youth sports. Some kids lose their passion and enjoyment for the sport, and quit altogether. A study found that 70% of kids who try youth sports quit by age 13.

Youth sports are supposed to be a positive and beneficial experience for kids, but they have become a source of harm and unhappiness for many. How did this happen, and what can we do to change it?

2. The Most Dangerous Children’s Sports

Here is a list of some sports that can pose a risk of injury or harm to children, and some of the reasons why:

Contact sports, such as football, hockey, rugby, or boxing. These sports can cause concussions, brain damage, spinal injuries, fractures, or internal bleeding, due to the frequent and violent collisions between players or objects.

Throwing sports, such as baseball, softball, cricket, or javelin. These sports can cause UCL tears, rotator cuff injuries, shoulder impingement, or elbow inflammation, due to the repetitive and high-speed throwing motions.

Jumping sports, such as basketball, volleyball, or gymnastics. These sports can cause ACL tears, patellar tendonitis, ankle sprains, or stress fractures, due to the repeated and forceful landing impacts.

Running sports, such as track and field, cross country, or soccer. These sports can cause shin splints, plantar fasciitis, Achilles tendonitis, or hamstring strains, due to the excessive and prolonged running on hard surfaces.

Weight-bearing sports, such as weightlifting, wrestling, or martial arts. These sports can cause lower bone density, stunting, or eating disorders, due to the high physical demands and the pressure to maintain a low body weight or fat.

Extreme sports, such as skateboarding, snowboarding, or BMX. These sports can cause fractures, dislocations, lacerations, or head injuries, due to the high-risk and adventurous nature of the activities.

Skiing and snowboarding: These sports can cause fractures, dislocations, sprains, or head injuries, due to the high-speed and slippery nature of the activities. They can also expose children to cold injuries, such as frostbite or hypothermia.

Cheerleading: This sport can cause concussions, spinal injuries, fractures, or ligament tears, due to the complex and acrobatic stunts, such as tumbling, lifting, or throwing. It can also cause lower bone density, stunting, or eating disorders, due to the pressure to maintain a certain body image or weight.

Hockey: This sport can cause concussions, facial injuries, dental injuries, or fractures, due to the frequent and violent contact with other players, sticks, or pucks. It can also cause dehydration, heat exhaustion, or heat stroke, due to the heavy protective gear and the intense physical exertion.

Rugby: This sport can cause concussions, spinal injuries, fractures, or internal bleeding, due to the frequent and violent collisions, tackles, or scrums. It can also cause dehydration, heat exhaustion, or heat stroke, due to the lack of protective gear and the intense physical exertion.

Lacrosse: This sport can cause concussions, facial injuries, dental injuries, or fractures, due to the frequent and violent contact with other players, sticks, or balls. It can also cause dehydration, heat exhaustion, or heat stroke, due to the heavy protective gear and the intense physical exertion.

This list is not exhaustive, and it does not mean that these sports are always bad or dangerous for children. In fact, many of these sports can have positive effects on children’s physical, mental, and social health, if they are played with proper equipment, supervision, and training.

However, it is important to be aware of the potential hazards and complications of these sports, and to take preventive measures to protect children from harm. Some of the preventive measures include:

– Wearing appropriate protective gear, such as helmets, pads, mouthguards, or goggles.

– Following the rules and regulations of the sport, and respecting the referees and opponents.

– Warming up and cooling down before and after the activity, and stretching the muscles and joints.

– Hydrating and nourishing the body with enough water and healthy foods.

– Resting and recovering adequately between sessions, and avoiding overtraining or burnout.

– Seeking medical attention and treatment promptly if an injury or illness occurs.

I hope this list is helpful and informative for you.

3. The Author’s Personal Experience.

I have to admit that I was one of those parents who got carried away with youth sports. I have always loved sports, and I played basketball and soccer in high school and college. I wanted my son to share my passion and follow my footsteps. He started playing basketball when he was six, and he showed great potential. He was tall, fast, and coordinated. He had a good shot, a good dribble, and a good sense of the game. He made the school team and the travel team, and he seemed to enjoy playing.

I was proud of him, and I wanted him to succeed. I signed him up for camps, clinics, and tournaments. I bought him the latest gear, shoes, and jerseys. I watched every game, and I gave him feedback, tips, and advice. I cheered him on, and I pushed him to work harder, practice more, and play better. I compared him to other players, and I set high goals for him. I dreamed of him getting a scholarship, playing in college, or even going pro.

But I didn’t realize the toll that my pressure was taking on him. He started to lose his interest and enthusiasm for the sport. He complained of being tired, sore, and bored. He struggled with his grades, his sleep, and his mood. He became more anxious, irritable, and withdrawn. He suffered from several injuries, such as sprained ankles, shin splints, and back pain. He even had a concussion once, after falling hard on the court.

I ignored the warning signs, and I kept pushing him. I thought he was just going through a phase, or that he needed more motivation, or that he was being lazy. I didn’t listen to him, or to his coaches, or to his doctors. I didn’t see that he was unhappy, unhealthy, and unhappy.

It took me a long time to wake up and realize that I was making a big mistake. I was hurting my son, and I was hurting our relationship. I was not supporting him, I was controlling him. I was not helping him, I was harming him. I was not loving him, I was using him.

I decided to change my attitude and behavior towards youth sports. I apologized to my son, and I asked him what he wanted. He told me that he still liked basketball, but he wanted to play less, and to play other sports as well. He wanted to have more fun, more freedom, and more balance. He wanted me to be his dad, not his coach.

I respected his wishes, and I supported his choices. I let him play at his own pace, and I encouraged him to explore his other interests. I stopped criticizing him, and I started praising him. I stopped comparing him, and I started appreciating him. I stopped dreaming for him, and I started listening to him.

I saw a positive change in him. He became happier, healthier, and happier. He regained his passion and enjoyment for the sport. He improved his skills, his performance, and his confidence. He made new friends, new memories, and new experiences. He grew into a well-rounded, responsible, and resilient young man.

I learned a valuable lesson from my experience. Youth sports are not about me, they are about him. They are not about winning, they are about learning. They are not about pressure, they are about pleasure. They are not about ruining, they are about saving.

4. The Causes of Parental Pressure.

Why do some parents push their kids to excel in sports, even at the expense of their health and happiness? There are several possible reasons, such as social status, ego, fear, or ambition. Some parents may view their children’s athletic achievements as a reflection of their own worth and success, and seek to boost their social standing and reputation through their kids’ performance.

Some parents may have unfulfilled sports dreams and ambitions, and try to live vicariously through their children, imposing their own goals and expectations on them. Some parents may fear that their children will miss out on opportunities or fall behind their peers if they do not excel in sports, and pressure them to keep up with the competition. Some parents may have high aspirations for their children’s future, and believe that sports are a pathway to academic, professional, or financial success.

These reasons are influenced by the culture of individualism, competition, and success that pervades modern society, especially in sports. Individualism emphasizes personal achievement, autonomy, and self-reliance, and often neglects the importance of cooperation, interdependence, and social responsibility. Competition fosters a win-at-all-costs mentality, where the outcome matters more than the process, and where winning is rewarded and losing is punished. Success is defined by external standards, such as trophies, rankings, or fame, and often comes with pressure, stress, and anxiety.

These cultural values shape parents’ expectations and values regarding youth sports, and may lead them to hold some myths or assumptions that are not based on evidence or reality. For example, some parents may believe that early specialization, or focusing on one sport exclusively from a young age, is beneficial for their children’s athletic development and performance. However, research shows that early specialization can increase the risk of injuries, burnout, and dropout, and that sport sampling, or playing multiple sports, can enhance physical, cognitive, and psychosocial skills.

Another example is that some parents may assume that their children have a good chance of getting a scholarship, playing in college, or going pro, if they excel in sports. However, the statistics show that only a small percentage of high school athletes achieve these outcomes, and that many factors, such as academic performance, character, and luck, play a role in these opportunities.

A third example is that some parents may think that sports are a significant factor in college admissions, and that their children need to impress college coaches and recruiters with their sports resume. However, the reality is that sports are only one of many aspects that colleges consider, and that academic achievement, extracurricular activities, and personal qualities are more important than athletic ability.

These myths and assumptions can create unrealistic and harmful expectations for young athletes, and can prevent them from enjoying the true benefits of sports participation, such as physical activity, fun, learning, and socialization. Parents need to be aware of these myths and assumptions, and challenge them with facts and evidence. They also need to be aware of their own motivations and influences, and examine whether they are pushing their kids for the right reasons.

5. The Consequences of Overtraining.

Overtraining can have serious and lasting effects on kids’ health, both physically and mentally. When kids train too much, too hard, or too often, they expose their bodies to excessive stress and strain, which can lead to overuse injuries. Overuse injuries are caused by repetitive microtrauma to the muscles, tendons, ligaments, bones, or joints, without enough time for recovery and healing. Some of the common overuse injuries that kids suffer from overtraining are:

UCL tears: Ulnar collateral ligament (UCL) tears are injuries to the ligament that stabilizes the inside of the elbow, especially during throwing motions. UCL tears are often seen in baseball pitchers, but can also affect other throwing athletes, such as quarterbacks, javelin throwers, or tennis players. UCL tears can cause pain, swelling, instability, and loss of strength and range of motion in the elbow.

ACL tears: Anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) tears are injuries to the ligament that stabilizes the front of the knee, especially during twisting, pivoting, or landing movements. ACL tears are common in sports that involve sudden changes of direction, such as soccer, basketball, or skiing. ACL tears can cause pain, swelling, instability, and loss of function in the knee.

Stress fractures: Stress fractures are small cracks or breaks in the bones, usually caused by repeated impact or loading. Stress fractures can occur in any bone, but are more common in the lower extremities, such as the shin, foot, or ankle. Stress fractures are often seen in runners, dancers, or gymnasts. Stress fractures can cause pain, tenderness, swelling, and difficulty in bearing weight on the affected bone.

Lower bone density: Lower bone density is a condition where the bones become less dense and more fragile, increasing the risk of fractures. Lower bone density can be caused by overtraining, especially in sports that do not involve weight-bearing or impact, such as swimming, cycling, or rowing. Lower bone density can also be influenced by hormonal factors, such as low estrogen levels in girls or low testosterone levels in boys. Lower bone density can affect the growth and development of the skeleton, and can lead to osteoporosis later in life.

Concussions: Concussions are mild traumatic brain injuries that occur when the brain is shaken or jolted by a blow to the head or body. Concussions can affect any athlete, but are more common in contact sports, such as football, hockey, or rugby. Concussions can cause headaches, dizziness, nausea, confusion, memory loss, and mood changes. Repeated concussions can have cumulative and long-term effects on the brain, such as cognitive impairment, emotional problems, or chronic traumatic encephalopathy.

Overtraining can also affect kids’ growth, development, and long-term health in other ways, such as:

Stunting: Stunting is a condition where the growth and development of a child is impaired, resulting in short stature, low weight, or delayed puberty. Stunting can be caused by overtraining, especially in sports that require low body weight or fat, such as gymnastics, figure skating, or wrestling. Stunting can also be influenced by nutritional factors, such as inadequate calorie or protein intake, or eating disorders, such as anorexia or bulimia. Stunting can have negative effects on the physical, mental, and social well-being of a child.

Osteoporosis: Osteoporosis is a disease where the bones become weak and brittle, prone to fractures. Osteoporosis can be caused by overtraining, especially in sports that cause lower bone density, hormonal imbalance, or amenorrhea (absence of menstrual periods) in girls. Osteoporosis can also be influenced by genetic factors, such as family history, or lifestyle factors, such as smoking, alcohol, or lack of calcium and vitamin D. Osteoporosis can affect the quality of life and increase the risk of disability and mortality in adults.

Brain damage: Brain damage is a term that refers to any injury or disorder that affects the structure or function of the brain. Brain damage can be caused by overtraining, especially in sports that cause concussions, dehydration, or hypoxia (low oxygen levels). Brain damage can also be influenced by environmental factors, such as heat, altitude, or pollution, or medical factors, such as infections, tumors, or strokes. Brain damage can impair the cognitive, emotional, and behavioral abilities of a person, and can lead to dementia, depression, or suicide.

The dangers of overtraining are real and serious, and should not be ignored or underestimated. Many doctors, coaches, and athletes have warned about the risks and consequences of overtraining, and have advocated for a more balanced and sensible approach to sports training.

For example, Dr. James Andrews, a renowned orthopedic surgeon who has treated many professional athletes, has said that “overuse injuries are the biggest problem in sports medicine today” and that “the No. 1 risk factor (for youth sports injuries) is sport specialization”.

Similarly, Coach John Wooden, a legendary basketball coach who won 10 NCAA championships, has said that “it’s not so important who starts the game but who finishes it” and that “success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming”.

Finally, Michael Phelps, the most decorated Olympian of all time, has said that “I think goals should never be easy, they should force you to work, even if they are uncomfortable at the time” and that “you can’t put a limit on anything. The more you dream, the farther you get”.

6. The Solutions for a Better Sports Culture.

How can we make sports more fun, healthy, and inclusive for kids, and less stressful, costly, and competitive for parents? There are many ways to achieve this goal, depending on the context, the needs, and the preferences of each child and family. Here are some general suggestions that can apply to most situations:

Let kids play freely. One of the simplest and most effective ways to make sports more enjoyable for kids is to let them play without adult supervision, interference, or pressure. Free play allows kids to explore their creativity, curiosity, and autonomy, and to develop their physical, cognitive, and social skills at their own pace. Free play also fosters a positive attitude towards physical activity, and reduces the risk of injuries, burnout, and dropout.

Start later. Another way to make sports more healthy for kids is to delay the start of organized and competitive sports until they are older and more mature. Starting later can prevent overuse injuries, stunting, and lower bone density, and can allow kids to grow and develop naturally. Starting later can also prevent early specialization, and can encourage kids to sample different sports and activities, which can enhance their overall athletic ability and performance.

Know the coach. A third way to make sports more inclusive for kids is to choose a coach who is qualified, experienced, and supportive of children with diverse abilities and backgrounds. A good coach can create a safe, respectful, and positive environment for all participants, and can adapt the activities, rules, and equipment to meet the needs and interests of each child. A good coach can also teach kids the values of teamwork, fair play, and sportsmanship, and can inspire them to pursue their goals and dreams.

Miss some games. A fourth way to make sports more balanced for kids is to allow them to miss some games or practices, and to participate in other activities that they enjoy or value. Missing some games can reduce the stress and pressure of sports, and can give kids more time and energy for their academics, hobbies, and social life. Missing some games can also show kids that sports are not the most important thing in life, and that they have other options and opportunities to explore.

Diversify their activities. A fifth way to make sports more beneficial for kids is to encourage them to diversify their activities, and to engage in different types of physical, mental, and artistic pursuits. Diversifying their activities can prevent boredom, monotony, and repetition, and can stimulate their curiosity, creativity, and learning. Diversifying their activities can also enhance their physical, cognitive, and emotional health, and can help them discover their talents, passions, and identities.

There are also many resources and organizations that can help parents and kids create a better sports environment, such as books, websites, podcasts, or programs. For example, some of the resources and organizations that we recommend are:

Changing the Game Project: A website and a podcast that aim to transform the culture of youth sports and to make sports a positive and rewarding experience for all children. The website and the podcast offer articles, videos, interviews, and tips on topics such as coaching, parenting, motivation, and mental health in sports.

Aspen Institute Project Play: A program that develops, applies, and shares knowledge and best practices to help stakeholders build healthy communities through sports. The program provides research, reports, events, and tools on topics such as youth sports participation, physical literacy, sport sampling, and inclusion.

Positive Coaching Alliance: A national nonprofit organization that works to create a positive and character-building youth sports culture. The organization offers workshops, courses, books, and resources for coaches, parents, athletes, and leaders on topics such as positive coaching, positive parenting, positive culture, and positive leadership.

The importance of balance, moderation, and enjoyment in youth sports cannot be overstated. By following these suggestions and using these resources, we can make sports more fun, healthy, and inclusive for our kids, and less stressful, costly, and competitive for ourselves. We can also help our kids reap the benefits of sports participation, such as physical activity, fun, learning, and socialization, and prepare them for a happy and successful life.

7. Conclusion.

Youth sports can be a wonderful way for kids to learn, grow, and have fun, as long as we remember why we play them in the first place. However, youth sports have become too competitive, too costly, and too stressful for kids and parents, and they are ruining kids’ health and happiness. In this article, I explained how youth sports are ruining kids’ health and happiness, and what we can do to save them from this fate.

I shared my own personal experience as a parent who made the mistake of pushing my son too hard in sports, and how I learned to change my attitude and behavior. I also explored the causes and consequences of the youth sports problem, and offered some practical and effective solutions for creating a better sports culture for our kids.

I hope this article has been informative and helpful for you. If you are a parent or a kid who is involved in youth sports, I invite you to share your own experiences, opinions, or suggestions on this topic. You can also check out some of the resources and organizations that I mentioned, such as Changing the Game Project, Aspen Institute Project Play, or Positive Coaching Alliance, for more guidance and support. Remember, youth sports are meant to be fun, healthy, and inclusive for everyone, and we can make them that way by following some simple and sensible tips.

As the legendary soccer player Pelé once said, “Success is no accident. It is hard work, perseverance, learning, studying, sacrifice and most of all, love of what you are doing or learning to do.” Let’s help our kids love what they are doing, and learn to do it well, without ruining their health and happiness.

Tâm Pacific


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The Dark Side of Youth Sports: #YouthSportsProblem #SportsInjury #SportsBurnout #SportsPressure #SportsStress

The Author’s Personal Experience: #MySportsStory #SportsParenting #SportsMistakes #SportsLessons #SportsChange

The Causes of Parental Pressure: #SportsCulture #SportsStatus #SportsEgo #SportsFear #SportsAmbition

The Consequences of Overtraining: #SportsInjury #SportsHealth #SportsGrowth #SportsDevelopment #SportsBrain

The Solutions for a Better Sports Culture: #SportsFun #SportsHealthy #SportsInclusive #SportsBalance #SportsEnjoyment

More Title: The Dark Truth About Youth Sports and How to Make Them Fun Again. Youth Sports: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (And How to Fix Them). Why Youth Sports Are Not What They Used to Be (And What You Can Do About It). The Hidden Dangers of Youth Sports and How to Avoid Them.


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